Hocken #1

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Posted by: Hocken on 2009-10-28 11:39:48

So It's Come to This

We've been pretttttty busy over the last year or whatever. Busy sleeping all day and playing WoW all night in our mom's basement. NO MOM I DON'T HAVE ANY DISHES, I'M PLAYING MY GAME!!!! Seriously, moms. Anyway, our reroll/alt/casual/shitnoob/ex-pvppro Horde guild on Gorefiend <Gear Doubt> has stayed fairly active for the last couple years. We had the ex-Pacifist folks, Team Utah, and Team Florida keeping shit on lockdown (that is when Team Florida didn't suddenly leave raids en masse to watch Dexter). Shit got boring and a lot of people were quitting. There was a mini-Alliance revival going on with people leveling up some alts over on good old Kel'thuzad when suddenly something interesting happened! Our guild was stolen!

There is a Hunter on Kel'thuzad named Lokasenna. You've maybe seen him rocking the Scarab Lord title and scurrying around on his AQ mount; both of which he would have been unable to get without our help. God, you know what, fuck it, you're getting the long story. So the day Broodlord's Head was patched into the game we were scheduled to clear BWL like we did every Tuesday and it happened because our shit always happened because we had some god damned fucking discipline back in the day unlike you pansy ass motherfucking baby whiners who have entire beachfront properties inside of your vaginas... okay, I digress. Broodlord's Head dropped and literally nobody had any idea what it did. The general consensus on the internets was that it had to do with Silithus (which had recently been given NPCs and itemized). AQ hadn't been announced yet, nobody knew what the fuck. All we knew is that it started a quest. We were headed down the path of logic that it should go to someone with exalted Cenarion Silithus dudes faction when Guild Jester Redstar typed: /em receives loot [Head of the Broodlord Lashlayer]. Katithra, a Druid of ours who you could say mean things about but I always liked him so fuck the haters* Linlia, a Hunter of ours, one of those crazy military types who was always there and didn't suck but nobody liked because he was a jerk, saw this little emote and thought "LOL anyone can loot the head!" *click* *click* and there we go everyone is pissed. We say whatever and continue to rape some shit.

* it wasn't katithra, sorry

Then for some fucking reason that I completely forget but I'm going to assume it was because we were just such amazingly nice, friendly, and attractive folks we decided to help this random Hunter who is in this 10th-place guild but it had some ties to us and honestly FoF is a fine group of people as far as I know so we decided to help their Hunter. Some shitloads of faction farming here, a timed BWL that maybe 1-2 other guilds could accomplish at the time there, and a complete fucking mess in Moonglade, Lokasenna was set to fire it up and hit that gong long and hard. 420 smoke weed every day.

Long story short, we carried him to that title and mount.

For a couple years <Pacifist> on Kel'thuzad had been inhabited solely by Taiwanese cocaine addicts. There were very few people playing in the guild. Lokasenna (who had eventually joined our guild and raided with us) had an alt in the guild at officer. Solanthanius—a longtime Pacifist High Council trustee—had one of his dusty alts camped out as the gleader. Apparently, and this one is important, Blizzard lets anyone in the guild petition and take gleader from any gleader that has been offline for 30+ days. Lokasenna went through this perfectly legit process, got gleader, and immediately kicked everyone out of the guild. Everyone is pissed. Blizzard told us to fuck off and to kill ourselves in real life, as expected, so we had to get the guild back on our own. Here is an exact transcript of negotiations to get the guild back:

[12:45]<Hocken> wtf
[12:51]<Hocken> wtf
[12:55]<Hocken> wtf
[12:56]<Hocken> wtf
[12:57]<Lokasenna> I'm not talking to you but you can have the guild back at 5pm
[17:00]<Hocken> wtf
[17:01]<Hocken> wtf
[17:05] Hocken is the new Guild Master

As you can see, I am a master at the subtle art of negotiation. To his credit, he gave it back, but it was a stupid move overall.

ALL OF THAT IS RELEVANT because it sort of sparked a serious Alliance revival that you Kel'thuzad assholes maybe have noticed (or probably not since nobody gives a fuck about anyone but themselves in this game). Our little casual guild <Gear Doubt> lost a solid 5 members or so to server/faction transfers and we were sad but more on <Gear Doubt> later.

Pacifist on Kel'thuzad is probably recruiting or something! I would imagine the requirement goes something like: don't be a fucking horrible player and show up to shit consistently. Hit up whoever is online for infos. Here's a tip: we've never recruited anyone who has said "u" at any time.

I guess they aren't terrible at WoW either.

Good old <Pacifist> lives on. <Gear Doubt> is also trying to turn itself into a real guild on Gorefiend but nothing is really set in stone over there yet. It's a decent group of 10-13 people but we have shitty raid makeups and Gorefiend is a fucking horrible server oh my god. I'm pretty sure our 1/2-PuG ToC25 was the first ToC25 advertised in Trade that actually killed Anub. People on that server are just terrible. Kel'thuzad sounds like some sort of mythical island where ilvl245s just show up in your mailbox twice a week.

Alright, enough of that. You kids probably need some pictures and video by now. Feel free to stop by the forums as usual and have a happy Hanukkah.

The Reruns

This is going to sound really fucking nerdy so don't judge me but I was looking for some screenshots to put on my digital picture frame thingy (one day I'll get under the 60% cat pictures mark) so I could sit at work and be reminded of all the time I spent sitting in my apartment, smoking cigarettes, drinking Dr Pepper, and getting MAD AT VIDEO GAMES and, as I was browsing for decent screenshots, I realized there are some classics that deserve a dusting off.

Here are some classic screenshots and videos worth digging up:

My personal favorite screenshot of all time, taken by the man with a suspiciously good eye for pics: Jallinya

Eillen was literally a Chinese farmer (actually like 3 guys, the daytime Eillen never spoke to us) who was befriended and taught us how to love.

The most important kill in our guild's history without question. 3-16-05.

The original video, complete with ubernerdy Ventrilo

And the other classic 1% wipe with Vent crying: Shesdea-ohwai.00.avi

Now a days, this is how they roll.

Some old nostalgia pictures. That's how shit used to be.

Oh, and if you want to watch a 55 minute lag-induced Razorgore kill complete with a mid-fight repair bot on the day BWL was released, here ya go Blackwing Lair Lag (Small).avi

Even more old shit here and here if you're into that.

This was absolute truth.

Some old vanilla meters.

Some early TBC meters.

"Sup my name is Plumpy I wear Vans and hit holes in one"

That's what my holes in one look like.

And Finally...

Some never before seen posts straight out of the Officer Forums!

This pretty much sums up Nexous's leadership style. And I like it.

Very, very early talks of abandoning the Pacifist name and merging with the few remaining non-shitty players of Goon Squad. So, how'd that work out GSA?

OH GOD WHAT DO WE DO WITH MC BOES????

We tried as officers but ended up just arguing with each other about everything.

And eventually worked our way around to pages long discussions about how to handle loot in just about every single thread.

The great Friend Purge. Sorry Boks.

Here's hoping you don't read in the news that I was shot in the head from 500 yards in two weeks.

And the downfall begins.


Posted by: Hocken on 2009-10-28 11:23:23

In an attempt to get last year's Christmas post off the front page before this year's Hanukkah comes up (we're now an exclusively gay-friendly Jewish guild) I asked everyone if they wanted to post a picture of their pets.

Here are the sort of boring results!


Andro

Danger

Djup

Dyno - Tootsie and Ginger

Exe's cat is high on life

Ezorah - Lillie loves bottles (further evidence)

Ezorah - Luna the bad kitty

Ezorah - Luna

Ezorah - Sadie

Team FLA - Mugsy

My kitties awww

My dumb cat hiding from the vacuum cleaner

Lexil's neglected fish named Pi (it's probably dead by now)

Mneika's kitty, having problems housebreaking

"the one on the right got eaten by a coyote on tuesday rip" -- Nexous

Mikey's pet horse Princess

Plumpy - You know what they call it when your dog wears a designer collar? 3 letters.

Soph - Marco and Polo

Tzeen - Anubis

Tzeen - Freja

Tzeen - Oden

Ultema - Sam the Mighty

Wuzzle - Sandy

Xivia

Posted by: Hocken on 2008-12-23 06:08:29

Merry Anime Christmas



Hello ten people who read the front page of this website! I promised an update 5 months ago and here it is. For the most part nothing has changed; the same jerks are playing the same games in the same places, but some things have happened recently.

First off we must discuss Warhammer.



We judge our games based solely on beard stoutness and it's safe to say Warhammer had some potential. It even looked pretty cool at times but in reality Mythic spent a little too much time smoking up and forgot to play the game after level 20.

I made a very scientific scatter plot of how the level of fun to be found in Warhammer:



Most people are ready to hate on Warhammer for no reason these days, but I think it's totally worth playing... the first 20 levels... for the free 30 days. It had some great ideas like public quests, quest inventory, hybrid instanced/noninstanced dungeons (although PvE in that game is a total joke), queueing for BGs anywhere and being spit out where you started; a lot of little things that proved they are capable of improving on Warcraft much like Warcraft was simply a bunch of old ideas polished up when it was released. I have no doubt several of the little aspects of Warhammer that set it apart from other MMOs will be copied in the not so distant future.

Overall, Warhammer was an okay experience. We had a strong guild in the best alliance on the server and were dominating shit until everybody realized the game isn't very fun in the long term and quit.

So we find ourselves resigning back into playing WoW --a game which thanks to 4 years of fine tuning and polish by Blizzard has become a perfectly balanced game of entire instances being pulled, minimal farming, and streamlined gameplay. What a great game WoW is now a days!

My own experience with WOTLK so far has been being forced to buy a copy at gunpoint by Best Buy, almost getting kicked out of my own guild for whining and being an asshole, deleting my Hunter a day after turning 80 and rerolling, griefing Nexous out of being guild leader for the second time, and then being demoted to D team. Playing WoW again has been a rough start but I gotta admit WOTLK is pretty fun. You can come play with us in <Gear Doubt> on Gorefiend (H) if you love anime, are racist, and are a nerd virgin.

It's kind of funny, if we had another maybe 5 members who were pros, our little casual/alt Horde guild would be the best guild on Gorefiend. It's such a bad server full of bad kids; thankfully Gorefiend pros like Lichkingzalt and Killalliance are there to carry us in WG. The latest comedy trend is take fifteen dollars and flush it down the toilet by renaming and resexing your character. So far we have Butteslol (who deleted a 40 Warrior to free up that gem of a name), Retardedbaby, Animedesires, and, everyone's favorite, Moolatto. I guess that's what A team is forced to do when their entire raid forgets to show up for "all pro achievements Naxx".

Well I hope everyone on Kel'thuzad is having a good time and Happy Hanukkah to all.











guess what instance (click)








And there are many more on the media page:

http://pacifistguild.org/media/

That's all goodbye!

ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME



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