That one time Pacifist beat Ministry to every boss in the game except 1 green dragon

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Posted by: Jallinya on 2006-02-24 00:20:01
Pacifist's Update of Sunshine and Happiness - Sponsored by Sitizen

First, I lied; I was going to make an update about how we love Brazil, but this had to come first. With that said: it has come to my attention that my last update, entertaining as it may or may not have been, came across as a little hostile. The way it was expressed to me was, by Sitizen specifically was "When I was reading through the update, I was just waiting for you to focus on someone of the guild and flip out on them and then quit again". I took that to heart so I thought "Well I will counter all the anger with unbridled benevolence and love :)". I suppose this will be the pattern of updates, since former updates were nice, followed by angry updates. So, what has to be said? Lets get to know the good side of the guild members; this is intended for all those people that aren't actually in the guild who read the webpage, so you can look up to them even more. By the way, if you think this is narcissistic, go shove a cactus down your urethra <3.

And, as a disclaimer, I could probably write a blurb about every member of the guild, but I don't have the dedication right now to write aaaaaaaallllllllll of that, but belive you me, I could. Send me a tell when I'm in a good mood and I'll tell you why I love you if I haven't mentioned you here. :)

Members that are awesome:

Ntume Honestly, how can anyone get better than Ntume? This guy was so die-hard dedicated to the guild back when he had the time and the means, and he still pulling more than his weight when he gets to raid with us. It's a sad thing for the guild that he has to dedicate so much time to school, but everyone understand the priorities :). And, not to mention all the awesome things he says; he's got to be the most genuinly funny guy in the guild. He doesn't have to use lame insults (like me) to be funny, he just IS funny! A guild couldn't ask for more.

Danger Most importantly, he keeps it real. And I don't mean it in the gimmicky comedy way; he is honest and straight about everything, even if he opinion is unpopular. There is too much bullshit too often, and this guy sees it and calls it, which is often quite beneficial to keep the guild clean and functioning like it should. Also, heavily pioneering the whole dual wield fury thing, because those whiney rogues can live without a CTS.

Ultema One thing needs to be said: when he gets a Crossbow of Smiting and if hunter shots aren't normalized, everyone is so fucked in PvP. If you think Arcus is bad news, just wait...

Roirraw If you're up at 3am and you just absolutely need to get your Stratholme fix, he is the go to guy. This man has redefined hard core MMO player in my book, and is swift as hell to boot. As a recently promoted officer, I'd say he was a perfect choice, and has been doing his job with flying colors. Just enough craziness that is perfect for the guild.

Members that NEED to be spoken for:

The only section that I feel needs an into; I've noticed quite often that the people who don't speak up can be some of the greatest people around, but you don't know it because you don't hear them. I've tried to be a good officer and payattention to those people, and I atleast want to say something for them.

Graffias He is quiet, he is pro, and he is an all around killer rogues who does his thing, does it well, and doesn't ever complain about anything. Generally people will have problems, and venting within reason is all good, but if you can simply just deal, and still be a good consistent player, then that is above and beyond. Officers love players like this :).

Artymes One of those few awesome druids out there who will never ever geta complaint about how he is healing. You barely know it because generallypeople only know a healer by how they don't heal them; I say Artymes is one of those who should be known for the contrary. Another one of those peoplethat any officer would love, and you'd never hear anything bad about or from!

Hel Who doesn't love Hel? Hel is like the most level headed and reasonable person in the entire guild. If you think you are more reasonable, then you technically can't be because you're being unreasonable! SO THERE. But lets not get side tracked. When you can: have an absolutely decked out character, be an officer in a succesful guild, and have your own vent channel with simple your name on it, and do all of it with barely a word spoken, you rock.

Members that are dedicated pros:

Redstar Ya, the bane of the server (at one time); I will readily say is one of the best members of the guild. Even if he will put thorns in your side, he is one of the longest standing hard core raiders this guild has seen. He is one of those names that I will generally see in every raid in some form or another, and consistency like that is admired greatly. Not to mention, it simply wouldn't be Pacifist without Redstar.

Nexous Jerk? Ya, maybe. Pro? Undoubtable. Lovable? Oh yes he can be <3. One of the originals, just like myself, he has been helping the guild since day one. Even if he is grumpy, his ability to play his class above and beyond nearly everyone on this server has been an undeniable asset to the guild's raid progress, as well as his ability to write scripts on the fly that were crucial to use beating encounters like Ragnaros before mods like CTRaid did it for you. So much has come from this guy, and we all love it.

Hocken I mean, duh, come on. He has given an arm and a leg for this guild, and if there is ever a question of "how did Pacifist get where it is?", many times the answer can be directed at him. So it so often goes with out saying, but thank you for everything you've done, and provided for this guild to do as well as it has.

And finally, some quick mentions to people who add that special flavor to the guild:
Mneika and the shit he says
Rithriaem and the shit he says (technicality)
Katithra and his sigh
Spoon and his... it can't even be explained
Moloko and his bird
Andromanche and his sister
Tzeen and his sister (technicality again, blow me)
Hazardous and his fashion sense
Sitizen and his wise ass
Lexil and his delusion of hunter importance
Kahlan and never knowing what he is talking about
Wuzzle and his silence AND his rage
Suparslam and his name
Mikey/c and his affinity to stoutness
Bankifist and all that hard work he does

If you haven't been mentioned, it's not because I don't love you, but simple because I wasted all my clever on the people before! This guild kicks ass, and I am very proud to be a part of it. And, finally, what would a frontpage update be without pictures!?

Posted by: Hocken on 2006-02-23 08:23:00
Well AQ opened 4 days ago and just incase anyone was wondering:

This fight is hard, requiring extremely precise planning and execution, and should be a major cockblock to all of the guilds that blew through the first 4 bosses that are extremely easy in comparison. Princess is pretty much what happens when Roirraw plays Venomancer with a Blink Dagger.

We got a few wipes in on the Twin Emperors and should start working on them seriously this evening.

If you haven't read it yet, go check out Jallinya's extremely offensive update below. It's pretty funny (assuming you aren't easily offended!).

Posted by: Jallinya on 2006-02-21 20:26:26

Ahn'Qiraj, and the People it Makes Me Want to Murder

So like for the last two weeks every big guild around probably has had the same AQ pictures plastered all over their websites. Ya know, an ambiguous boss fight picture, a picture of everyone standing on the corpse, and DEFINITELY pictures of the drops. Well guess what, the only AQ shit you'll see in this update is some scenery pictures that I thought zone designers did a good job on. Other than that it's going to be a rant of the people who should be tied down in a park so when people are walking their dogs the dogs can come over and ackwardly snif their genitals or take a large dump on the-afformentioned-people instead of the owners having to pick up the feces, and how AQ made me want to talk about that specific subject.

1.) First and foremost, the person/people that deserve torture and dismemberment that only the most perverse, malicious minds could think up are: the people who thought up to AQ war. Fuck you, get raped by bears. I know I am ripping off someone from vent saying this, but whatever dev had the bright idea of this war, and the managment that approved it should be tossed into a pit of hot sulfur. If I had my way I'd round up everyone responsible for the waste of time, put them into a room, design some sort of flail like machine that had like chains on it with huge rusty meat hooks on the end, and then it'd turn on and start spinning the hooks all violently and crap, and slowly start approaching them as they coward in a corner, screaming as their gruesome death rattled towards them. Then I'd be like "jesus fucking christ dude what is wrong with you, look what you just wrote, it's a god damned game, no one deserves to die over a fucking game, get a life." So I dunno if I'd want them maimed to death for it but I would definitely let a dog sniff at them in an unpleasing manner. Because I am a smarmy, weasley piece of crap. Although that is a pretty rewarding thought, having some stupid blizz dev sitting there and I walk up with my dog and scream "MY DOG IS GOING TO PISS ON YOU" and then seeing the look of total indignant disgust on their face. Ya that'd be good, screw the bloody slaughter, i'll stick with dog urine.

2.) That son of a bitch Heazy and his Monolith lackeys. Ya, I went there. So right when I get in the raid last night, Heazy comes up out of no where and tries to kill me, and and I run and would have gotten away but the rest of his donkies make sure I don't get away. Oh man I exploded last night and vomited all over their ventrilo promptly after that. Talk about a way to break someone's spirit. Believe you me I was grumpy about that for the rest of the night, mainly because it was also my first death of the night. I'm probably going to have to grief his/their shit now but in reality just get rolled alone then get even more flustered and rant a bit more on their ventrilo. Essentially I want some sort of foul beast to slink into your dwelling, Heazy, and piss all over your anime collection so if you are beating off to it during a raid you'll have to smell vile animal urine and as the putrid odor accosts your nostrils you will think "WHY TRAILMIX WHY DID I HAVE TO TORTURE YOU, YOU HAVE RUINED MY LLLIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEE." The same applies if all your anime is on a computer; don't worry I've thought ahead.

3.) Mneika, for making me love him so much. Ok, not completely but he and I (with a few others) stood around outside AQ40 for like 6 hours and bullshited in /s and vent. How many of you can say you've sat around outside an instance for 6 hours, huh? That's right, because you're probably not as stupid as us, bitches. Or as stupid as me at the very least, Mneika is just not working at best buy anymore so what the fuck is he gonna do? Then Genji has to like snare sluts as they run by, he can some how tell all the males playing female night elves from the females playing female night elves apart. Fortunately for me I've kept him in the dark as far as my true identity. Oh man will the crying game be played one day, and I will walk away triumphantly from that one.

4.) Devin Townsend for making such lovely songs and getting them stuck in my head. What a dick; songs don't even get stuck in my head anymore, but I'll be damned if an exception wasn't made for this whole AQ thing. Don't bother listening to his stuff though since only people like Graffias or Varg (miss you, sugar) are the only ones badass enough for it. Actually I don't want to kill him or anything I am just confused and I suppose I turn my affection into hatred, and with that mentioned: Mavlikan, you know that I want to get in your pants.But since I just mentioned pants and a paladin, AND Varg, here is some cliff bashing. He wears pants that are like $1,000 and have some like unique tear in them that justifies $400 of those $1,000. But they are so amazing that you can only wear them 3 times ever, and if you wash them once they will not only destroy your social status, but you'll be socially crippled for the rest of your life and probably start crying to yourself while drinking hard alcohol and grinding WSG/AB every night. Followed by a series of cataclysmic financial events, even though buying jeans for $999 dollars is a catastrophe in itself. Just think, man.

I seriously re-read through this entire post and I tried to look for places where I could put in paragraph breaks other than the obvious topic changes. I could only find one in the previous paragraph, but believe me I tried. This run-on-sentence train-of-thought sort of writing makes it difficult to have breaks because it either will have to be a new paragraph every two sentences, if not less, or no new paragraphs at all. It's a dangerous balance to maintain, but that's what I gotta do, because that's how I roll.

Professional guild discussion

The best things in this guild come from Ntume:

We're already far too familiar with AQ:

Notice the mini map

Oh man we're gonna own this blue fag

And when the noobs get raped


Look at this old shit that no one cares about, WITH FLOWERS:

In this case, I thought "I'm dead in the air, there is a red "RAG" in my screen, and it's red. I'M ON THE RAG HAHAHAHAHAHA"


Next week's update: Pacifist Spreads Brazilian Culture to Kel'Thuzad

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